IPA-ing under pressure

well first of all, HAPPY FASTING!
haha it's the first days of fasting month! the moment i've been waiting for soo long, and i hope we can enjoy it next year, well, this posting, i'll tell you more stories about...

IPA class....

o-my-god i'm so damn desperate, feeling being left and feeling so foolish because i can't even catch what does the teacher saaid! actually just for physics, i love chemic, maths, and biology, but i can't even understand physics! daaamn! the teacher taught the material soo fast while my brain is working for a very low-0-low speed... then there i was once again, left. while everyone is moving forward. i hate times like this, when i felt i am the one whose not moving at all, while everybody is. i need, an accelerator.

blah, just forget about it for awhile. when a time being like this, i'm searching for a space, a space when i can just forget about many things that happen, many painful and desperate things. when i asleep, i just want a time when i wake up, i'll move my foot relaxedly, without any pressure on my head that keep on ticking like a metronome. damn.

well then, but the most fascinating things of all, I'm a member of OSIS noow, yaaay! what a pride wearing the babyblue-ish suit and green rope on my shoulder, whew, what a looong journey.

i need someone to forget him right off from my head please. any advices?

thoughts

if i had a time machine, i'd like to go back to where i was bla-bla-bla, sometimes i thought so, sometimes i think, 'yes! i really need it!!' but otherwise i think, what lies in front of me today, this time, this second, is leading to something new, something maybe better, may be bitter, but no one knows what will happen next, right? in my life, everyday is never be the same. what happen on Monday is not same as what happen on Tuesday, and so on. i love my life even though my life is not perfect, i'm happy, i'm good with what i have right now.
well i got this thoughts when i was rode my bike this afternoon, i always love to cycling around my neighborhood, there's always kind people who always greet me, not always kind, of course. while cycling, under blue sky (sorry to sounds so melancholic), and i feel soo grateful to god to let me live today, hearing these sounds, seeing these views, walking with these feet, painting with these hands, i'm soo grateful. while cycling too, i'm seeing those people, passed by me, people that greeted me, i watched their expressions, how are they feeling. at least, that's what i think
it's just 2 days more with XA. i love them too much, i don't want to miss anything, i want to stay like this. i scared, i hate farewell, i don't know why i don't like any person who says bye-bye. feels so sad. i always hate farewell, hate being apart, even though i know, it will lead to something new, but i always thought, that i'll never met someone like this, like that, random questions like, 'you'll never forget me right?' or 'will we ever meet again?' and a questions like 'what will we be? will we stay like this?' i don't know why, maybe i'm too.. emotional?